UASV’s Daily Devotional All Things Bible, Friday, June 06, 2025

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God’s Design for the Christian Family: A Devotional on Colossians 3:18–20

Submission, Love, and Obedience in the Lord

“Wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as it is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, keep on loving your wives and do not be bitterly angry with them. Children, be obedient to your parents in everything, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.” — Colossians 3:18–20

This brief yet powerful section of Paul’s letter to the Colossians outlines God’s order for the Christian household. Contrary to cultural reinterpretations, these commands are not bound by time or social norms—they are grounded in creation, reaffirmed under the authority of Christ, and remain applicable for all believers. In this passage, Paul addresses three primary roles in the family: wives, husbands, and children. Each receives a clear and specific command, tied directly to their relationship with the Lord.

Written around 60–61 C.E. while Paul was imprisoned in Rome, the letter to the Colossians emphasized the supremacy of Christ and the sufficiency of his rule over all aspects of life, including personal conduct. Chapters 1–2 present theological truth about Christ’s role in creation and redemption. Chapters 3–4 apply those truths practically, showing how Christians are to live out their new identity in every area of life—starting with the home.

“Wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as it is fitting in the Lord.”

The instruction to wives is both clear and controversial—not because it is unclear, but because modern society resists what God has plainly commanded. The word “subjection” comes from the Greek ὑποτάσσεσθε (hupotassesthe), which means to arrange under, to submit to one’s rightful authority. This is the same word used for citizens under governments (Romans 13:1), believers under elders (Hebrews 13:17), and the church under Christ (Ephesians 5:24).

This command is not conditioned on the husband’s merit, personality, or ability. It is grounded in God’s created order (Genesis 2:18; 1 Corinthians 11:3). A wife’s submission is not inferiority; it is functional, not ontological. In the same way that Christ submitted to the Father (1 Corinthians 15:28), the wife submits to her husband.

Paul adds, “as it is fitting in the Lord.” This phrase grounds the command in Christian duty. Submission is not for cultural convenience but is fitting—appropriate, proper, and expected—within a life ruled by Christ. Christian women who claim to follow the Lord must embrace this as part of their discipleship. It is not optional, symbolic, or negotiable. To resist this order is to resist God’s structure for the family.

“Husbands, keep on loving your wives and do not be bitterly angry with them.”

To the husbands, the command is twofold: love and avoid bitterness. The verb for “love” here is ἀγαπᾶτε (agapate), the highest form of love—a selfless, sacrificial, committed affection that seeks the good of its object. This love is not dictated by emotion or situation; it is modeled after Christ’s love for the church (Ephesians 5:25).

Husbands are commanded to keep on loving their wives, implying consistent, ongoing devotion. This love is expressed through kindness, provision, protection, spiritual leadership, and tender care. It is not passive. It is not distant. It is active, daily, and intentional.

Paul adds a prohibition: “do not be bitterly angry with them.” The Greek word πικραίνεσθε (pikrainesthe) means to become embittered, resentful, or harsh. Some men, especially in positions of authority, can grow frustrated or harsh toward their wives—especially if they feel disrespected or misunderstood. But Paul commands Christian husbands not to allow bitterness to take root. Such an attitude contradicts love and erodes the relationship God designed.

In a Christian marriage, headship is never tyranny, and submission is never servitude. The husband must lead with love, humility, and gentleness. His authority is real, but it is to be exercised under the lordship of Christ, not personal pride.

“Children, be obedient to your parents in everything, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.”

Paul now addresses children, commanding them to obey their parents in all things. The word ὑπακούετε (hupakouete) means to listen attentively and respond in submission. It implies more than external compliance—it denotes a willing and respectful attitude.

The phrase “in everything” shows the scope of this obedience. As long as the command does not contradict God’s Word (Acts 5:29), children are expected to obey all instructions from their parents. This includes chores, schooling, manners, worship attendance, and behavior. Obedience is not subject to the child’s feelings or preferences; it is an expression of God’s order.

Paul gives the reason: “for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.” Obedience to parents is not merely a cultural or household matter—it is a spiritual act of worship. When children obey their parents, they please God. It is part of how they serve Christ. From a young age, children are to learn that life is lived under God’s authority, and that begins by obeying the parents He has given them.

This teaching echoes the fifth commandment: “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12), a command that includes both obedience in youth and honor throughout life.

God’s Blueprint for the Family

In Colossians 3:18–20, the Christian family is presented as a hierarchically ordered, spiritually anchored institution, not subject to revision or cultural trends. Each member of the family has a distinct role, and all are accountable to God.

Wives are to submit to their husbands—not begrudgingly, but reverently, “as is fitting in the Lord.”
Husbands are to love their wives with deep, sacrificial affection, avoiding resentment or harshness.
Children are to obey their parents in everything, because such obedience delights the Lord.

This is God’s design. It is not negotiable. When followed, it produces households marked by peace, joy, and spiritual growth. When ignored, it leads to confusion, strife, and brokenness.

Application: Living Out God’s Household Commands

Christian wives must embrace submission not as oppression, but as obedience to God. This requires humility, trust in God’s design, and a heart willing to serve.
Christian husbands must exercise loving leadership, not dominance. Their love should be active, tender, and sacrificial, mirroring Christ’s own example.
Christian children must be taught to obey—not simply to avoid punishment, but to learn reverence for God through respect for their parents.
Christian parents must teach these principles early and consistently. The home is the first place where divine order must be honored.
Churches must uphold and teach these truths clearly, refusing to compromise them to appease culture. Biblical family order is not an outdated relic—it is the living Word of God.

Conclusion: Order, Authority, and Love in the Christian Home

Colossians 3:18–20 calls Christian households to reflect God’s order, Christ’s love, and the Spirit’s fruit. Each member is responsible before God. These verses are not negotiable or optional—they are commands issued under apostolic authority.

Our homes are to be sanctuaries of truth, where God’s structure is honored and His presence is welcomed. If the church is to be strong, the family must be strong. And if the family is to be strong, it must be governed not by emotions or trends, but by the Word of God.

Live this truth. Teach it. Guard it. And God will be glorified in your household.

About the Author

EDWARD D. ANDREWS (AS in Criminal Justice, BS in Religion, MA in Biblical Studies, and MDiv in Theology) is CEO and President of Christian Publishing House. He has authored over 220+ books. In addition, Andrews is the Chief Translator of the Updated American Standard Version (UASV).